• run: 3.5mi
• time: ?
• temp: 38
• road conditions: gray
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: lcd sound system: someone great, bf5 - raindrops
• comments:  drank 1 cup of coffee and got out because i made myself.  jogged, really.  wanted to do 4 miles, but 3 seemed reasonable.  it's all about just getting out there and trying.  wore a fleecy pair of tights and my fleecy hoodie and was really warm.  i'm not a lazy bum because i keep trying.

• run: 3-4 miles?
• time: ?
• temp: 28
• road conditions: dusting of snow
• aches/pains: l hamstring
• what i listened to when i ran: elliott smith - biggest lie, depeche mode - shake the disease, new pornographers - twin cinema
• comments;  turned down william.  ran slowly.  it was really cold.  got up, dressed and out because i haven't had the will to get out any other way.  glad it's over.

thursday, november 22

• run: 3.1
• time: 29 min
• temp: 48
• road conditions: clear
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran:  brian goodbye mix
• comments:  i saw my family a few times on the route, which i didn't expect.  i started way behind the finish line and took a long time to get up to mid pack.  it was rough up the last hill and i stopped to walk for a minute.  ugh.  but my family was there for me at the end, which made everything worth it.

sunday, november 18

• run: 2 mi
• time: ?
• temp: ?
• road conditions; ?
• aches/pains: legs
• what i listened to when i ran: didn't get to put iPod on
• comments:  just couldn't do any more today.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 25
• road conditions: frosty
• aches/pains: lungs
• what i listened to when i ran:  chatted with my friend
• comments:  saw lots of people with frost on their shoulders.  so good to see my friend.  i'm going to do very poorly at the 5k on thursday and right now, i'm okay with that.  trying to find some consistency in my running, speed will follow.  had that grimes song in my head the whole time.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 55 (oh yeah)
• road conditions: slightly sunny
• aches/pains: lungs
• what i listened to when i ran:  nin - gave up, night ranger - sing me away, rem - don't go back to rockville, the rembrants - deepest end.
• comments:  wore shorts, juno bra and a t shirt.  perfect.  my fitness level, not so perfect.  i've got something in my lungs that i'm coughing up and the run is helping loosen it.  i'm just keeping the bar low, trying to get some consistency back in my running in case i do get to do the thanksgiving 5k i signed up for in less than 2 weeks.  it's a hilly course, but has the cutest t-shirts of any race i've ever ran.  

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 47
• road conditions - gray
• aches/pains - none
• what i listened to when i ran - chatted with my running buddy
• comments:  we're both pretty out of shape, but it was so good to run with her.  the miles went quickly and i feel like we can get back into a groove of meeting once a week to run.  she's so nice and funny.  just trying to keep up a winter base.

• run: 2 mi?
• time: ?
• temp: 30
• road conditions: windy
• aches/pains: everywhere
• what i listened to when i ran: nin - gave up, radiohead - fake plastic trees
• comments:  tried coffee before the run to make it more pleasant.  cut it short as i couldn't do it.  will have to keep trying, keep trying harder.  

• run: 4 mi
• time: a while
• temp: 30
• road conditions: frosty
• aches/pains: shoulders, legs
• what i listened to when i ran: ben folds - songs of love, radiohead - no surprises
• comments:  lost a lot of fitness there over the past few weeks.  it felt really good until i hit that hill on miller.  i stopped to walk a lot over this normally easy path.  lots of people were out this morning.  i feel badly for all those people who trained so hard for the NY marathon to have it cancelled.  i also can't imagine myself getting off my ass after work during the week to get out for a run.  

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: ?
• road conditions: cold and windy, sunny and warmer, then cold and windy again
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - mess, ac newman - ?, nin - gave up, queen - one vision
• comments:  i love football saturdays.  just as i passed the marching band practice area, they started to play and i almost jumped.  weaved around fans walking on the sidewalk.  watched leaves fall right in front of me.  i almost didn't go out because i have a bunch of small projects and errands to do, but i'm glad i did.

• run: 13.1 miles!!!!!!!!!
• time: 2:20
• temp: 54
• road conditions: unpaved roads, trails, pavement, extremely wet
• aches/pains: r knee around mile 9, both knees by mile 10
• what i listened to when i ran:  chatted with my cousin - no headphones!
• comments:  my dad took me to the school where i met up with my cousin so we could take a bus to where the race was going to start at 7:30.  it was dark but not too cool and the rain from yesterday had stopped for a bit.  this made me hopeful.  but by the time the race started, the rain started and didn't let up.  i wore shorts, my purple half zip and my gray rain jacket with new "waterproof" gloves.  i was dressed appropriately to stay warm.  my cousin wore some smart wool layers with a cute cap and looked amazing.  we kept the pace slow, staying side by side, chatting along the way.  the trails and dirt roads weren't completely muddy, but it was a constant challenge to find the driest path and avoid puddles.  it seemed to go pretty quickly until mile 9, when my r knee started to hurt.  and there was this huge hill that seemed so unfair to throw at us so late in the race.  i got to have my first goo - mandarin orange and it was super tasty and helpful.  it just didn't make the knee pain go away.  my cousin's knees were getting weary near the end, but we finished it!  she said he doesn't remember being so wet while wearing clothes in her live.  i agreed.  then we took her partner and my parents out to a vegan reseaurant for post race grub.  it was fun watching my parents stretch their palate and their routine.  it was also sweet how my mom tucked me into bed the night before.  the sweetest part was when my cousin gave me a necklace that had 2 charms - one with 13.1 and the other with traverse city around the smaller charm.  it's like a teeny medal i can wear every day and remember how i toughed out this challenge with the help of my cousin.  would i do another half marathon?  maybe.  will i do a full marathon?  probably not.  i don't have a bucket list.  this was a very good day.

thursday, oct. 11run: 4 mi

• run: 4mi
• time: ?
• temp: 64
• road conditions: warm and sunny
• aches/pains: headache
• what i listened to when i ran: jackson brown - lawyers in love
• comments:  it was 25 degrees in the morning at 5:30, so i decided to wait until after work when it would be warmer to get my last run before the half in.  it felt good in the middle and end.  i needed to run off some anxiety and it helped.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 37
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: "i've got a pain in my heart, that's all"
• what i listened to when i ran:  guster - amsterdam, nin - ?
• comments:  wore the tank under the half zip with the saucony tights.  good move.  it was like pulling teeth to get me out there.  the girl forgot her book bag and i passed my exit, so it took me almost an hour go get that back to her.  i wanted to turn back the whole run.  i completed the 4 miles.  some days it's harder than others.

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 36
• road conditions: cold
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: elton john - harmony, night ranger - night ranger, the stone roses - i wanna be adored, the avett brothers - something's got a hold on me
• comments:  i like the new juno bra.  it isn't chafing, except for a little bit in the back.  it's big and warm, which is nice for this season.  unfortunately, it was a bit too cold for the capris and half zip without a tank underneath.  i made it, of course, but i was cold the whole time.  i thought about going for 6, but time again was a factor.  i just can't get myself together early enough.  i started getting a little scared about the half marathon during my run and being too cold today made it scarier.  i'll dig out my old tights tonight and wear them tomorrow as i'm guessing i won't be able to fly with the capris for the race.  and i'm NOT wearing my headlamp during the race, either.  

• run: 6 mi
• time: under an hour
• temp: 40
• road conditions: crisp with sun trying to come out
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: army navy - dark as days, ac newman - town halo
• comments:  i'm hoping i'll be ready for the half marathon next week.  i know i will be able to finish it.  i actually am really excited about it.  more about spending time with my family than actually running, but i'm sure it will feel amazing once i've completed the race.  just as long as my dad has my coat waiting for me at the finish line :)

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35 min
• temp: 55
• road conditions: dark and lovely
• aches/pains: rear hurt most of the run
• what i listened to when i ran:  anxieties, prayers
• comments:  half asleep out there.  half asleep most of the day, really.  still glad i got up and ran early.  i really love this 55 degree weather.  put on a half zip and some shorts and i'm good to go.  

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 50
• road conditions: acorn-y and beautiful
• aches/pains: overall stiffness
• what i listened to when i ran: foo fighters - long road to ruin, josh ritter - golden age of radio, trip shakespeare - late
• comments: felt like i pounded out those miles.  ran behind a couple who were running at exactly the same pace.  i thought it was adorable.  lots of people out running this morning.  i'm getting used to the weather change and kind of like it now.  

• run: 10 mi
• time: 1.5 hr.
• temp: 50
• road conditions: beautiful and sunny
• aches/pains: butt for last couple of miles
• what i listened to when i ran:  lots of rem, a night ranger, an a.c. newman, bf5 - on being frank
• comments:  the first mile, actually the whole time up miller, was quite a challenge.  then it got better.  i think this is my last 10 miler before my half marathon in 2 weeks.  i'm happy about that. i'm happy that i can run 10 miles and actually enjoy parts of it, too.

thursday, september 28

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35 min
• temp: 50
• road conditions: nice
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran:  prayers, mild unintrusive thoughts
• comments:  saw a lot of people out there wearing headlamps.  must have been a running group.  they were running in the road.  i still don't get why so many runners like to run in the road.  i had so much energy for the rest of the day it was insane.  i had that sense of time travel that i love so much.  

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 45
• road conditions: dark
• aches/pains: upper back
• what i listened to when i ran: worries and prayers
• comments:  wore my capris, black half zip, $79 sports bra, and my headlamp.  my back hurts because sleeping in the tight bra keeps it from chafing, but it pulls at my neck and shoulder muscles.  the headlight helped with my confidence.  i'm really afraid of tripping on nuts and sticks that are falling off the trees.  it was warm enough for a morning run and felt really good.  i keep trying to switch to after work and this new before work routine is easier now.  i really want to order that cute purple half zip from brooks because i like this one so well...

saturday, september 22

• run: 6 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 50
• road conditions: chilly
• aches/pains: not feeling it
• what listened to when i ran: can't remember
• comments:  took the kids to the babysitter's so i could run 10 miles.  6 was the best i could muster.  the change in the weather, the disruption of my normal routine is messing with my mental and physical game.  

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35 minutes
• temp: 55
• road conditions: clear, dark
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: dark, silent morning
• comments:  tried to go out after work.  make it few blocks before i was aching, huffing and puffing.  so i came home.  guilt and my sense of duty woke me up at 5.  it was tough at points, fine at others.  crisp, cool weather.  perfect running weather, actually.  i'm glad i did it because i really needed to.

• run: 10.81 mi
• time: 1.5 hrs
• temp: 50
• road conditions: sunny and perfect
• aches/pains: hamstrings at end
• what i listened to when i ran: lemonheads - if i could talk i'd tell you, night ranger - night ranger, depeche mode - see you, bf5 - selfless, cold and composed, ben folds - bitches aint shit, gin blossoms - till i hear it from you
• comments: that actually felt pretty darn good. it's nice to run in the daylight. got out a little late because i wanted it to warm up a bit. had a 3rd cup of coffee and i think it really helped. got to be around 2 of the largest college football stadiums in less than 24 hours. pretty cool.

thursday, september 13

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 55
• road conditions: dark
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: snippets from TLOTSOTM in my head
• comments: my friend was going to meet me, but couldn't last minute. so i went anyway. i needed the miles.

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35 min
• temp: 46
• road conditions: crisp and dark
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: prayed, worried, thought happy thoughts, told myself i could do this
• comments: tripped once but went to grass. whew! close call. it's a little scary running in the dark, but most of the fear is my husband's. if he knew how unlit some of the roads are, he'd be pissed. glad i got my run in this morning!

• run: 6.2 mi
• time: 52:17
• temp: 58
• road conditions: rain earlier, but the skies were sunny and the unpaved roads were muddy
• what i listened to when i ran: white rabbit - percussion gun, ben folds - bitches aint shit, bf5- battle of who could care less
• comments: i ran the best i could. i wanted to age place badly. i ran hard so i'd have no regrets. and i came in 4th in my age group. phooey. it is a pr for me. i was really hoping that all of my training would make me a lot faster. maybe i need to get a coach and/or do speed work to get faster. i did enjoy myself, though.

thursday, september 6

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35
• temp: ?
• road conditions: cool, dark
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: no headphones, just a lot of prayer and positive self talk.
• comments: my husband said i should get some pepper spray. i told him i run on well lit streets and i'm fine. still, it is really dark and i didn't even get to see dawn break.

Monday, September 3

• run: 5 mi
• time:?
• temp: 76
• road conditions: fine
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: can't remember
• comments: i was so not into this today. i walked a lot as i just felt tired and achy. i promised myself a slurpee if i finished. if i had enough money to buy a slurpee, i would have cut the run short and hit the 7-11 right near my route. instead, i sweated all over my car while i drove to get that slurpee. ahhhh.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 70 something
• road conditions: overcast, muggy
• aches/pains: chafing
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - lullabye, depeche mode - stjarna
• comments: got up a little late, so cut the run short with a promise to do 5 miles tomorrow. went swimming with the kids yesterday so my shorts chafed. so does my regular 2 bra system now that i'm running more than 6 miles. i'm too stuck in my routine to change anything now. i was drenched in sweat when i got home and stretched. running down jefferson in the daytime felt pretty amazing, though.

• run: 10.42 mi
• temp: 70
• time: 1.5 hr
• road conditions: light sun
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - army, lullabye, afghan whigs - gentleman, white rabbits - percussion gun
• comments: i knew i had to do it, so i did it. it wasn't bad. i'm trying to figure out where i can add on some extra mileage. next week is a 10k race. if they don't cancel it. i'm going to eat my mashed potatoes and take a well deserved nap now.

• run: 4 mi
• time: 35 min
• temp: 56
• road conditions: dark to dawn
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: too dark out for headphones. i tried to settle my mind and pray.
• comments: it felt really good. i love these short runs. i feel so free, so competent, so accomplished. and i got to use my new lush shampoo as a treat which made my hair look fabulous today - even without blowdrying it!

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 66
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: guster - the captain, bf5 - raindrops are falling on my head, elton john - goodbye yellow brick road
• comments: my legs felt heavy, like i tied weights on them, for most of the run. they didn't hurt, but they told my i went too far yesterday. i found by breathing was hard at the beginning, too. but, by the end, i was singing along with elton and completely feeling the fuzz bass kick in during "raindrops". i just don't hear it in the snippets of new bf5 stuff, the equal parts of all 3 band members. that song just showcases it in all it's glory. i don't even really like the song, but i love what the 3 of them do with it.

• run: 10.23 mi
• time: 1.5 hr
• temp: 77
• road conditions - sunny
• aches/pains: l knee at end
• what i listened to when i ran: go gos - turn to you, ac newman - miracle drug, night ranger - can't find me a thrill, ben folds - rocking the suburbs, bf5 - don't change your plans
• comments: went all the way down to stadium and i knew i'd have my 10 miles :) i took it easy, walked when i felt like i needed to, stopped for water on dexter. i was parched as hell when i got home. it wasn't so bad. the mental block was harder than the physical effort. had i run the entire time without stopping to walk, well...

thursday, august 22

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 55
• road conditions: dark, a tad chilly
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running partner
• comments: glad to get my weekday runs completed! now it's up to me to get a longer run in on saturday. i did some driving around and saw how i could increase my longest run (so far) just a little bit and see how it goes. my main motivation right now is that i'm eating more and feeling like i've gained weight. not a good space for me to be in, but if it gets me to do my long runs, then it's okay.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 52
• road conditions: dark
• aches/pains: neck muscle on r side
• what i listened to when i ran: too dark to run with headphones on at 5:30 am alone. i spent a good deal of time in prayer.
• comments: it felt right to do it. it felt right when i got home from the run. i just really want that extra bit of sleep.

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 53
• road conditions: crisp and good
• aches/pains - r wing for a short bit
• what i listened to when i ran: foo fighters - wearing me down, new pornorgaphers - twin cinema
• comments: rough couple of miles at the beginning. i did not want to be out there, wanted to be back at home, reading. but i'm feeling fat (actually gained 5 pounds) and knew i needed to do it for training and to help get my weight under control. i'm very glad i did. took a nice nap in the afternoon. a nice, productive weekend with lots of rest in between.

• run: 7.4 mi
• time: 1 hr
• temp: 65
• road conditions: bright sunny day
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: rem - night swimming, bf5 - the ultimate sacrifice, matthew sweet - not when i need it, beatles - for no one, fiona apple - parting gift, nin - terrible lie, avett brothers - kick drum heart
• comments: slept in until 8:30, didn't get out until after 9:30. just didn't want to go out and my belly was feeling kind of weird. decided going up the hill further wasn't a good idea, so i went further on seventh because of road construction. the run was longer than 6 miles but not as long as i "should" have run, and that's okay. it felt really good after those first couple of miles.

• run: 4 mi
• time: 40 min
• temp: 58
• road conditions: dark, humid
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my friend
• comments: woke up a little early this am. had a cup of coffee by myself in the dark silence and it was lovely. now i'm listening to the boy sing his "warm up" for his musical theatre class. it's lovely, too.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 66
• road conditions: wet, some rain at the end
• what i listened to when i ran: it was pretty dark, so i left the headphones off.
• comments: felt strong like a pony for most of the run. i like this 4 mile stuff.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 66
• road conditions: busy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: a lot of anger at myself, lots of fears in my head. i listened for a while, and then decided to stop making myself miserable. implementing that decision is hard. it turned things around, though. foo fighters - all my life
• comments; went up hammond to the bay and back. i would have loved to have slept in. i love those fold-out beds and tight sheets. but, i had to try to impress my folks. i also tried greek yogurt - really greek yogurt - for the first time. 38% of my daily protein in 100 calories and it rates like eating ricotta cheese out of a bowl! i of course had 2 since i didn't know when my next meal was coming.

• run: 4.3
• time: ?
• temp: 65
• road conditions: real dark, then the dawn came
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running buddy who's running a lulumon half marathon in vancouver this weekend.
• comments: i really wasn't into it last night, but once i got out there, it was great. i love running with her. i feel pretty good about my fitness level right now. i hope i don't mess it up by being away for the weekend...

tuesday, august 7

• run: 4.3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 60
• road conditions: perfect
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: never got around to turning on my iPod. just working out stuff in my head
• comments: woke up at the magical 5:50. it was a nice easy 4 miles.

• run - 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 70
• road conditions: overcast, light rain near end
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: night ranger - night ranger, glad-hands - gore girls
• comments: felt half asleep out there for the first mile, then i woke up. good run. nice to have a little gentle rain to cool things off.

• run: 9.57 mi
• time: 1:19
• temp: 70-80
• road conditions: humid, sunny
• aches/pains: upper thighs near the end, lower calves right at the beginning
• what i listened to when i ran: rem - talk about the passion, ben folds - rockstar, hiro's song, guster - airport song, blondie - atomic, mgmt - time to pretend
• comments: ran all the way up to maple. i didn't bring a gu because i wasn't sure. i thought i had 10 miles, but just missed it. it felt really good out there today. i'm still waiting for the sweat to stop dripping off my face. i should go bake some cookies now.

wednesday, august 1

• run: 4 mi
• time: over 10 min pace
• temp: 70
• road conditions: sunrise run
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running buddy.
• comments: as much as i hate getting out there so early, running with my friend makes it seem so fun and easy. i thank her for that gift after every run. found out one of the people i work with is a really good runner and she's in my age group now. interesting. walked down to the running store from work, picked up a couple of GUs to try during long runs, was back at the office in less than 15 minutes! love the office, hate the maple syrupy/urine smell outside the door.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: low 70's
• road conditions: bearable
• aches/pains: r shoulder, l thigh
• what i listened to when i ran: mull historical project - watching xanadu, guster - what you wish for
• comments: running late before church, so i cut the run a little short. keep looking at the pavement as not to trip - makes the runs a little less fun. trying to keep my heart, mind and soul open. judging people is tiring work.

• run: 8.49 mi
• time: 1:14
• temp: 70
• road conditions: nice breezes, sunny parts
• aches/pains: shoulder and back of l leg near the end
• what i listened to when i ran: rem - pretty persuasion, metallica - creeping death, buster - ruby falls, mull historical society - watching xanadu, ben folds - smoke
• comments: took my sweet time dilly dallying around at home. it was a cooler morning with some nice breezes, so ending my run past 11:00 wasn't too bad. some of the hills got to me and i walked a bit. i was hoping to go further, but by the time i got to the point on miller after going up hill for over a mile, my body told me not to risk it. came home, ate, and took a nice nap. i love weekends.

• run: 4.1 mi
• time: ? (over 10 min per mile per garmin)
• temp: 80
• road conditions: dark to dawn
• aches/pains: surprisingly none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running buddy
• comments: got up at 5:30 for a 5:45 run. so good to see my friend. was not looking forward to the day ahead after getting up so early, but it was okay. i was more tired after work than i was at work. it feels so good to have that accomplished early in the day and come home and just chill or do other things. so, next trick is to up my long run tomorrow.

tuesday, july 24

• run: 3.5 mi?
• time: ?
• temp: 80
• road conditions: muggy and hard
• what i listened to when i ran: don't remember
• comments: got up at 5:50 and headed out around 6. ran up to spring and headed back. it was hot, but since i slept in until 10am on sunday for the first time in a long time, i needed to get back on track. got stopped at a light on main so i decided to head downhill there and cross a block or so down. didn't get more than 50 feet before i tripped and fell. i felt myself stumble so i headed for the grass. scraped up my r shoulder and both palms pretty darn good. i managed not to drip blood by keeping my hands tipped up and closed and by sheer will of needing to get home in time so the hubby wouldn't be late for work. it's a day and a half later and my palms and shoulder still ache. a co-worker said it looked like i had stigmata and suggested i go to one of the docs and show them as a goof. hahaha.

• run: 7.27 mi
• time: 59:08 (pace 8:08)
• temp: 75
• road conditions: sunny, beautiful
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: ac newman - game on, bf5 - lullabye, mess, rem - west of the fields, ben folds - golden slumber, nin - happiness in slavery, nirvana - something in the way
• comments: heading to the art fairs, so i didn't go too far. it was a beautiful morning and lots of runners were out there. had a rocky start because the hubby ate the last of the bananas and i got pissed about it. he has no recollection of my asking him several times to leave the last banana for me.

• run: 3.5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 74
• road conditions: muggy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my friend
• comments: woke up earlier than i needed to in order to make a route. we headed out and it was a really nice, short run. perfect. i just hope that i don't start to fall asleep during a meeting again.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 80+
• road conditions: muggy daybreak
• aches/pains: whole body ache after i stopped at a restroom
• what i listened to when i ran: i have no clue, it didn't seem to even register.
• comments: got up early to tear up the streets. i woke up feeling really anxious and forced myself out of bed to conquer the anxiety rather than stew in it and get a little more sleep. running early without a decent dinner or breakfast in the heat leads to an okay run at best. i'll have to have some potatoes tonight as i'm supposed to run with my buddy tomorrow before work. i'm so excited for her!

• run: 5 mi
• time:?
• temp: 78
• road conditions: sunny and humid
• aches/pains: r wing for a mile in the middle, butt and hamstrings at the end, shinsplints at the beginning
• what i listened to when i ran: more buster
• comments: i thought it would be an easy 5 mile run, but it was a hard one. probably because i did so many yesterday. i did take the girl on a good long walk last night, too. i only had 1 cup of coffee because it was so hot and it was getting late. i was also grumpy because i had a full day ahead of me. i'd much rather have a lazy sunday where my run is the hardest part.

• run: 9.15
• time: 1.17
• temp: 75
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: thigh muscles near the end
• what i listened to when i ran: lots of guster, beck - sexx laws
• comments: that's what the nike app said. i cheered when i saw that when i got home! i was just going to try to increase it to 7.5, dreading doing it. i got a little lost and when i found my way back, i knew i may have went further than i expected, but i had to keep going. i feel great that i passed that mental block. it's clear that my body can do this, it's my mind that keeps me in my comfort zone. i did not want to go out this morning but really glad i did :) i'm going to need to hold on to this for a while. running may be the one thing i can do well until i get the hang of my new job.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 89
• road conditions: sun hell
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: caught up with running buddy
• comments: i totally thought she'd kick my ass with a 6 mile run. it went down to 5, then 4. it was hot and we had a lot to catch up on. it's too hard to run hard and get caught up on a months worth of conversation. i'm trying to see if we might meet up for a morning run - this should be a challenge!

• run: 3 mi
• time: 2-25 min
• temp: 58
• road conditions: crisp
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: avett brothers - something has me, matthew sweet - everthing changes
• comments: alarm went off and i dressed quickly to get 3 miles in before hubby had to leave for work. i woke from a very weird and upsetting dream, so it was good to shake that off with the run. got my focus back onto working to score some ben folds five tickets today and how we're going to plan the weekend to get to the show and the football game in the same weekend.

• run: 6 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 73
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: thighs about 4 miles in, felt better by the end
• what i listened to when i ran: buster - lightning rod, new pornographers - ?, teenage fanclub - baby lee, ben folds - jesusland
• comments: went out for 5, ended up doing 6. it wasn't as hot as i thought it would be, so i figured i should just go for it. i just can't see me doing 8 miles. i'll have to in a week or two, but i somehow just can't see it. i've got a lot on my plate right now, so i shouldn't worry about it. or maybe it's the easiest thing i have to worry about right now.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 60
• road conditions: first time on a treadmill
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: a few episodes of "Boy Meets World"
• comments: since we're at a hotel off the freeway somewhere in New York, i decided to try the treadmill they had in the exercise room rather than try to find a place to run outside. i slept in until 8 and gave it a try. it took a while for me to adjust it to a comfortable pace. once i got it, it was fine. kind of nice to zone out and watch some retro tv, not worry about the run. but then there's the little number on the screen that tells you how far you've run, right there in your face. it's kind of annoying (along with the calories burned). i sweat a lot, even though the room was cool and there was cold water right there to drink whenever i wanted it. not a bad alternative to running outdoors in extreme weather. it's not like we're getting one soon, but i'm glad i finally got a chance to try one out.

• run: ?
• time: 45 min
• temp: 22 degrees
• road conditions: misty sunrise
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - underground, foo fighters - overlong
• comments: took off from the hotel, ran as far as i could on the canadian side of the falls, turned around, ran back. saw how easy it would be to jump into the falls. ran up clifton hill and around the couple of touristy blocks to finish. there were only a couple of other runners out. a few non-americans out taking pictures at 6am. nice, peaceful way to start the day. i was able to get out the door without anyone else being awake and it was lovely.

• run 5.6 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 70-80
• road conditions: sunny, kept getting warmer
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - lullaby, underground, matthew sweet - everything changes
• comments: got out a little after 8 this morning, so it was getting pretty warm. i really didn't feel like running, but it was an easy 5 miles. i feel like i'm in good shape and it feels good. i'm a little nervous about not finding time or a place to run during the trip and i'm trying to be okay with that. went out and got a mocha coconut frappuchino this afternoon, well deserved. life is good.

• run: 7 mi
• time: 1:10
• temp: 75
• road conditions: a little sun, lots of shade
• aches/pains: ball of r foot for a little while
• what i listened to when i ran: foo fighters - best of you, ben folds - jesusland, matthew sweet - everything changes, buster - beginning of the end
• comments: i decided to keep going up the hill to do the 7 miles and i'm glad i did. i actually enjoyed the run and didn't turn on the music until i was much closer to home. it's so nice not to be angry.

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 78 and humid
• road conditions: sun was coming up
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: didn't turn on the iPod. spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection
• comments: so glad i went. i put on the $79 sports bra on before i went to bed, put some anti-chafing cream under the band, and it was a fantastic bra. much lighter than the 2 i usually wear. it seems that the key to getting out to run on weekday mornings is wearing the bra to bed. one less thing to struggle with. happy, happy day! i got a job offer, never have to see someone who has made me miserable for a long time ever again, and i'm taking a trip and don't know all the details. i don't remember feeling this happy in a very long time.

tuesday, june 25

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 45
• road conditions: chilly!
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: new pornographers - jackie dressed in cobras
• comments: it was a lovely morning to fall out of bed and run. so chilly, but delightful.

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 68
• road conditions: muggy, but not sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: teenage fan club - hang on, rem - final straw, matthew sweet - smog moon
• comments: put on some of that chafing stuff and the pricey sports bra, along with some new nirvana 7's, and it went well. got a rock caught in the back part of my shoe but was able to pull it out. i walked in them last night for a 2 mile jaunt around the park with the fan (why do we do that at 8pm when the kids are whiny?) and loved them. they're really pretty. the sports bra didn't leave a wound, so things are looking up.

• run: 6.4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 68
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - do it anyway, nin- kinda i want to, rem - monty got a raw deal
• comments: i tried to work out my anger issues. i have a few ideas. it's so hard not to feed into it, but i have a couple of things i'm going to try to stop feeding into it when i go there. feeling smug and justified isn't worth it anymore. trying to take the high road, one little step at a time.

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 78
• road conditions: muggy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: had my headphones on, but never turned on the ipod.
• comments: had some shit to work out, so i spent a lot of time thinking and praying. i hope i can be kind, loving and caring towards everyone i encounter today. keep my mouth shut if i have nothing productive or nice to say. i hope i can. either way, i got my run in and can come home and watch netflix all night.

• run: 5.34 mi
• time: ?
• temp: upper 70's
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: jayhawks - blue, ben folds - give judy my notice, rockin the suburbs
• comments: i got there at 5:30 to volunteer. talked to a guy who ran 222 marathons. i have no idea how someone could do that, but i just met him so i couldn't ask him. it was really cool to see the races start. i really wanted to do the 5K. just being around all of the excitement made me want to run. so i came home, put on my running gear, and went for my usual 5 miles. saw someone on the "planning group" and her family on the bridge and said hello, but kept going. i got to see the racers at the finish line as i was about 2/3 through my run. showered, got 2 sausage mcmuffins with egg, and still made it to church during the opening hymn. then i took a nice long nap when i got home. not a bad day.

• run: 6.4
• time: 1.01
• temp: 75
• road conditions: sunny with some clouds
• aches/pains: legs burned for the last mile, not bad
• what i listened to when i ran: alanis morisette - joining you, guster - ganging up on the sun, keep it together, the stone roses - i wanna be adored
• comments: i didn't get out until 8:30, so it was warm. i like my familiar route. there's a lot of shade and it's comfortable. people out mowing their lawns, trimming bushes, running errands. saw the port-potties lined up, getting ready for the marathon tomorrow.

• run: 4-5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 85
• road conditions: sunny and hot
• aches/pains: r ankle where i keep kicking it with my l foot.
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with running buddy
• comments: didn't want to run in the heat, but do love running with my friend. her boyfriend ran the half marathon in the race that i just did the 10k in and finished in 2hrs 6minutes. without training. he's such a determined guy. proof that the mental game in running is pretty powerful.

• run: 3 mi
• time: half hour
• temp: 68 (felt like 100)
• road conditions: muggy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: nin - closer, rem - monty got a raw deal
• comments: i went out saying i would do the 3 mile loop because that's all i had time for. i had no idea i'd start sweating profusely before i finished the first block. the nausea came back at times (note to self - don't cook and eat 2 bags of collard greens the night before a run), so i took it easy and walked a bit. i feel like a wimp but i didn't see anyone else out there trying. i did see some people rowing crew in the river.

sunday, june 10

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 72
• road conditions: hot, blinding sun
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: ?
• comments: i was feeling a little nauseous at points, a little faint up the big hill, so i kept the run short.

• run: 4.25
• time: ?
• temp: 64
• road conditions: nice
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: perpetual mobile song, ben folds - jesusland
• comments: got up at 5:48 again. i think this was one of the easiest runs i've ever done. it felt good to be out there. told myself 3 miles but ended up doing the longer route because i was in such a good space. this is just further proof that practice makes it better. i wanted to call my friend to meet up after work yesterday to run, but the idea of running in the heat in the evening sounded so awful. i'll have to talk to her about doing saturday runs together instead. today will be a good day!

• run: 4.25 mi
• time: 38
• temp: 43
• road conditions: perfect
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: good question
• comments: woke up at 5:48 and got out there. i saw the temp so i pulled out my capris, summer tank and put on my green jacket. ahhhh. it's so nice to go to work, knowing i've accomplished something. i actually forgot about it. got a little tired during a meeting late in the afternoon, but now that i'm home i'm thrilled i ran this morning. i'm craving a subway seafood and crab salad. i was going to treat myself to one for lunch, but a consumer who came in late for an appointment shot that dream to hell. some lady came up to me in the supermarket and told me my kids were adorable.

• run: 6.2
• time: 54.37
• temp: 63
• road conditions: mostly overcast
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: hotel lights - amelia bright, erasure - piano song
• comments: my training really did pay off. i didn't feel like i was going to die at any point during the race. i was pretty wiped out for the last mile, but i didn't stop to walk. got water at 2 of the 5 water stops. i just kept along at my own pace, passing people when i needed to, watched people pass me, and didn't get upset. i got some pizza at the end and then went to the corner where my family had agreed to pick me up (they were still all in their pajamas). my husband said my sweat has a distinct odor, "like a cystic fibrosis carrier". huh? i didn't pr, but my time was a lot better than my last one. my bib didn't have my name on it. next year i'll have to remember to regsiter earlier.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 56
• road conditions: beautiful
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: ben folds - kalamazoo, wham - freedom
• comments: ran down the hill on the broadway bridge to the jam on "kalamazoo". it was timed perfectly. went for a short run to the drum park with the kids before going out solo. the girl was quite the sight in her tulle skirt. she had a lot more stamina than the boy this morning. smelled the cooking from one of the first of many summer festivals in town. bring it on!

• run: 4 mi
• time: 40 min?
• temp: ?
• road conditions: nice and crisp
• aches/pains: jaw
• what i listened to when i ran: i kept telling myself that i can do another mile, then i finally put on the ipod. bf5 - lullabye, rem - monty got a raw deal, josh ritter - annabel lee
• comments: weird dreams last night left me feeling sad and anxious this morning. the run helped distract me. i can't believe i have to go work a full day now.

• run: 5.3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 80
• road conditions: muggy and sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with running buddy
• comments: wore my saucony tank. it was really hot, but fun to run with my friend. i registered for the 10k. i feel like i'm going to be ready for it. it was so hot the goose poop on the asphalt was in melted piles. so gross.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 48 min
• temp: 87
• road conditions: sunny, slight breeze
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: queen - one vision, ben folds - levi johnston's blues, bf5 - dick holster, foo fighters - times like these
• comments: wow it's hot. felt good, though. the 2 cups of coffee helped. i need to register for that 10k next weekend.

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 65
• road conditions: some rain
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: nothing memorable
• comments: got up before my 8:30 class to run. i changed my top 3 times because the weather changed. it was dry at 6:30, pouring at 6:45, and still pretty rainy at 7:50. i ended up taking off the rain jacket after the first 2 miles, but glad i had it when i did. only had one cup of coffee and forgot to eat anything as i was too busy running up and down and changing. i got to go to a korean place for lunch. i forgot how much i love korean food.

• run: 3 mi
• time: 28
• temp: 55
• road conditions: muggy
• aches/pains: knees when i bend
• what i listened to when i ran: metallica - for whom the bell tolls, rem, nin
• comments: woke up at 3, thought it was 5, went back to sleep. got up and out for a virtually painless and pleasant 3 mile run. so much better than trying to run in the heat. i just wish we could get the dryer fixed so i could wash some clothes.

tuesday, may 22

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 51
• road conditions: dawn
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: umm...
• comments: felt great to be out there. i was really sleepy most of the day. i felt really fantastic when i drove home from work and knew i didn't have to try to run in the hot, hot weather.

• run: 5.2
• time: 47.23
• temp: 70
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - narcolepsy, tom and mary, magic, mull historical society - watching xanadu, tracy ullman - they don't know
• comments: wore new socks (vs. ones from last year) today and the callus didn't hurt. tried some chafe balm and that helped with my wound. it was hot, but i didn't feel like i was going to pass out at any time. it usually happens at the top of hills. i think i'm getting used to the warmer weather. i felt pretty strong out there and my time wasn't too bad. i don't trust the nike app completely, but i think it gives me a basic idea of how i'm doing. i'm glad i got my errands done yesterday. i hope the dryer works today.

• run: 6.5 ish miles
• time: ?
• temp: 80
• road conditions: hot, sunny
• aches/pains: callus on r foot
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with running buddy
• comments: didn't feel like i was going to pass out at all! i just got home and feel great. i think making an effort to run 2x during the week really helped. practice makes it better. i know we weren't going super fast, but we talked and i didn't feel so out of breath that i had to ask to walk. i think i should go get a manicure now.

friday, may 18

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 40
• road conditions: perfect
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: can't remember
• comments: woke up at 6, got up, checked the temp, put on capris and a long sleeve, and went right out the door. i was still kind of half asleep at first, which was fine. i did manage to go the downhill way and it seemed pretty manageable. i saw that there were uphills on that route, too, but didn't seem too bad. it was so much nicer to have the run out of the way, as well as to be able to run in the cool early morning. this 80 degree and sunny stuff is not my style. i'm supposed to meet my friend for a run at 10. i need to try to get her to run at 9. it's a 10-20 degree temperature difference between 9 and 11. i enjoy the company and ability to sleep in, though.

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 85
• road conditions: hot, sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: avett brothers - i and love and you, something has me, nin - kinda i want to, mgmt - time to pretend
• comments: i felt it was too hot to go out, yet i promised myself i would. i got partway to the park and realized that if i had ran the other way, i could have ran to the bible study tonight. again, i was running uphill without even thinking. i saw a woman walking in the park who looked like she was learning how to walk again after a stroke. i said hello. i actually said hello to many people on my route today but she was the only one who said hello back. she put things into perspective for me for about a minute, and then i was mentally complaining about it being too hot again. i did note that i've been feeling more "eye for an eye" vs. "love and acceptance" lately. i'm pretty sure i've been acting that way, too. not good. but it is good that i got out to run today.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 51
• road conditions: rainy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - evaporated, ben folds - bitches aint shit, rem - west of the fields, nin- kinda i want to
• comments: it started pouring just as i was getting ready to head out. put on my rain jacket and did it anyway. it wasn't that bad. i wish i could have looked around more on jefferson, but i was busy trying to avoid stepping in puddles. soggy shoes are the worst part of running in the rain. there was no one out there. i saw 2 runners near the end, when the rain had lightened up. i'm hoping this will inspire me to get out 2 times during the week for short runs.

saturday, may 12

• run: 5.2
• time: pace 10/ mi
• temp: 64
• road conditions: muggy, sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with running buddy
• comments: i like the mostly flat course at the park. i didn't get out this week as i'd planned, but it was fun to meet my friend on a saturday.

• run: 6.2
• time: 56.34
• temp: 57
• road conditions: sunny, hilly
• aches/pains: r knee for first half mile
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 -do it anyway, underground, rem - catapult, elliott smith - last hour
• comments: i didn't kick ass and take names, but i finished. 7th in my age group. this just proves that i can't take this stuff for granted. practice makes it better. i forgot how hilly this course was. it was breathtakingly beautiful. i saw my husband twice, clapping for me. i had to walk for about a minute at mile 5, got water at every water station because i had that sensation of possibly passing out more than once. a friend at church reminded me of the rabid masters group of women in this town and it helped put things in perspective. so did church, actually. no medal or trophy, just some hard earned humility.

• run: ?
• time: 1.5 hr
• temp: 59
• road conditions: overcast
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: no headphones today
• comments: the girl wanted to go for a run. got me up at 6am and bugged me until i took her out. she told me what we were doing and how we were going to do it. we ran to the "drum park" (her name for it), then we ran back home to get some water. then she got on her scooter for two times around the block. then the boy wanted to join in, so we went up the hill towards the park behind the cemetery, around the block, and back up the hill. then the boy wanted to go for a run around the river. he ran for a good part, but of course, got tired and we poked around. checked out the disc golf holes, puddles, tiny waterfalls and made many wishes on dandelions. i covered at least 3 miles, which is what my plan was for today, anyway. nice break in the routine :)

• run: 4.5?
• time: ?
• temp: 90
• road conditions: sunny, humid and hotter than hades
• aches/pains: muscles in my upper arms and thighs burning
• what i listened to when i ran: caught up with my running buddy
• comments: i made us walk way too much. i was so busy today, had no clue it was going to be so hot, and didn't even think about hydration. my lip is cracked because i got so parched. but my friend had some interesting news. i feel like a wuss, but my friend was supportive, as always. she ran a 2:06 half marathon last week. if i want to do that, practice is the key. i need to learn to love the practice as much as i love the race. let's see if my extra mileage this week pays off on race day...

• run: 4.78 mi
• time: 45-50 min
• temp: 63
• road conditions: cloudy
• aches/pains: my fingers and arms went numb at the top of the hill
• what i listened to when i ran: night ranger - at night she sleeps, rem - catapult, ben folds - your dogs, bf5- lullaby, new pornographers - sing me spanish techno, queen - one vision
• comments: crap that was hard. i'm still sweating after stretching and watching a hello kitty video with the girl. the first mile is hard because it's uphill. so is that middle part up summit. you think i'd change up the route, or run it the other way, but i don't. i saw several people running down the hill on summit today. maybe next time i'll try that. i'm really glad i got out there.

• run: 5.22
• time: 49 min
• temp: 36
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: foo fighters - best of you, white rabbits - let's go dancing, nin - happiness in slavery, ben folds - learn to live with what you are, rem - laughing, elo - i'm alive
• comments: just enough of chilly bite to make me happy. felt a lot warmer than 36, but it was beautiful. i could smell the trees and flowers, enjoy the shade of trees that have leaves. i love flying down the hill on davis. it's worth all the uphill miles to get there.

• run: 6.55
• time: 1 hr (pace 8:50 according to the nike app)
• temp: 41
• road conditions: few sprinkles, overcast
• aches/pains: ball of l foot
• what i listened to when i ran: crowded house - nails in my feet, john waits - going to the top, radiohead - electioneering, bf5 - selfless cold and composed, army/navy - dark as days
• comments: great run. i feel badly for the graduates and their families as it's so cold out there. perfect weather for me: wore my capris and black long sleeve and i was comfy. just tucked my knuckles in the sleeves and all was good. i could have kept going, but of course i didn't.

• run: 4.5
• time: way too long
• temp: 54
• road conditions: really windy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running buddy
• comments: she's running a half on saturday. i hope she does well. she told me i should find a training program online and stick to it. start with 3 days, up mileage, move to 4 days a week, up mileage, long runs of 8, then 10 then 12 miles. the thought sounded brutal as i was really struggling out there. it was pretty chilly and the wind was out of this world. then some ladies and some dude with mutton chops passed us. one of the cats is sitting 2 feet away from me and giving me the stink eye. today is not my best day.

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 37
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: john waite - going to the top, ac newman - the town halo
• comments: i think it was colder when i got home than when i left. i lost myself for a few moments during the run, which was fun. kind of like time travel.

• run: 6.2 mi
• time: 1 hr
• temp: 38
• road conditions: a little sun, some wind
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: rem - west of the fields, foo fighters - long road to ruin, new pornographers - sing me spanish techno,  bf5 - mess, narcolepsy, dcyp
• comments: piddled around the house until my husband told me to just get out there.  planned on doing 5, but ended up doing 6.  it was one of those runs that ran itself.  i gave very little effort.  i hardly walked at all, stopped at stop lights and crossings and caught my breath that way.  this rarely happens, so i did my best to enjoy it.  it was just a little too chilly to really love it, but at the same time, if it were a little bit warmer, i probably would have complained about it being too warm.  sing me spanish techno is one of the best running songs ever.

• run: 4.something
• time:?
• temp: 65
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: got that "i think i'm going to pass out if i don't slow down" feeling while heading up the hill on summit. wuss.
• what i listened to when i ran: cheap trick - i want you to want me, ben folds - practical amanda, stone roses - i wanna be adored, elliott smith - between the bars
• comments: running twice a week isn't cutting it. it's just so hard to get out there when i'm so depressed. i can always make excuses to not run. i told myself i had to run today so i wouldn't feel like a complete failure. and i might feel better, even. well, i came home with awful stomach cramps and sweat stung my eyes and legs. it's just going to be like this until it gets better.

saturday, april 14

• run: 5 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 5o something
• road conditions: fine
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: ?
• comments: forgot to log it.

sunday, april 7

• run: 6 mi
• time: 1 hr
• temp: 50
• road conditions: sunny/cloudy/windy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: rem - numerous songs, rembrandts - one song, matthew sweet - everything changes
• comments: i woke up with an awful headache that didn't go away all day, so i missed my run yesterday. i'm considering a 10k this weekend, so i thought i should do 6 miles. it takes me so long, but it felt good. it's still challenging enough to do 6 miles. i'm still struggling with the idea of a half and mentally, i'm losing. i did remember that when i acutally had a goal - placing in my age group at the train race - i exceeded it. i know if i decided i wanted to finish a half marathon i could do it. i just don't know if i want to. been reading some running blogs. some women are really hardcore.

wednesday, april 4

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 50
• road conditions: sunny, chilly
• aches/pains: hard time feeling feet and hands
• what i listened to when i ran: ?
• comments: weird feeling neuropathy in my extremeties. i cut the route a little short. had to get out and prove to myself that i'm not a wimp. felt pretty achy and tired when i got home. why am i doing this? what do i have to prove to anyone? or is it about proving this to myself? ah, fuck it. i'm just doing it so i can stay skinny.

• run: 3.2
• time: 27:41
• temp: 46
• road conditions: dry and gray
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: new pornographers - twin cinema, rem - shaking through
• comments: registered last minute for the race. took off the bottom of the bib number, put it in my jacket pocket, and went to put my jacket in the car. didn't know that's what they were using to count the twinkies and our time. found out one minute before the race started. went back to see about getting a new bib number, it couldn't happen, so i got to the end of the line and started. it was a gun start, not chip timed, but i ran my ass off anyway. passed the woman who cheated by not eating her twinkie and set it on a rock under the bridge and giggled. i got a finishers medal :) missed out on the shirt as it cost extra and i didn't have the cash on me. they were crap tech ones and not worth the $20. it was a little disappointing, but what fun to race! i so do not want to do a half marathon. i wish my family would have been there with me. it was kind of lonely.

• run: 7 .12 mi
• time: 1:10
• temp: 36
• road conditions: dry and chilly
• aches/pains: none, really
• what i listened to when i ran: ben folds - dog, guster- airport song, the babys - every time i think of you, radiohead - fake plastic trees, wham - freedom, ben folds - bitches aint shit
• comments: somehow i was able to convince myself to do 7. looked back to december to figure out what to wear - capris, tank black long sleeve - and it worked well. i hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so i can do the twinkie run.

• run: 3 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 57 and dropping
• road conditions: windy
• aches/pains: l butt/leg r knee, just slightly
• what i listened to when i ran: ben folds - practical amanda, doc pomus, all you can eat, mull historical society - watching xanadu, buster - beginning of the end
• comments: did not want to go out there. i think i was having flashbacks of last saturday and how miserable i was. put on a long sleeved shirt and my shorts and took the short route. wasn't fast, chose to walk a bit. the rowers were out on the river. i really like songs that have chimes in them.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 55 min
• temp: 54
• road conditions: a little sun
• aches/pains: butt didn't hurt until the end
• what i listened to when i ran: mostly nothing, didn't turn on the ipod until i was almost home
• comments: much better than yesterday! got passed by the u of m men's cross country team and didn't mind a bit. wore a t-shirt and shorts. for the first 5 minutes i wished i had put on a long sleeved shirt, for the last 50 i was glad i didn't. took the new sports bra ($79) out for a test run. thank goodness i like it. i just don't know when i'll be able to cough out that amount for another one. looks like i'll be doing some hand washing in the sink.

• run: 7 mi
• time: 1 hr 10 min
• temp: 52
• road conditions: light rain
• aches/pains: everything, especially elbows, back, legs
• what i listened to when i ran: matthew sweet - smog moon, night ranger - can't find me a thrill, pearl jam - just breathe
• comments: wow that was painful! i wore a t-shirt and shorts. it was really, really cold when the rain got harder. i've been really achy all over the past couple of days, waking up in pain. i took some tylenol around 6am so when i left at 9, i wasn't in pain. now i'm struggling. i forgot to eat before i left and that was not a good move as i ran out of energy, too. i'm still chilled to the bone. but hey, i did 7 miles!

• run: 4.88
• time: ?
• temp: 80
• road conditions: humid
• aches/pains: l hamstring, ball of r foot
• what i listened to when i ran: army/navy - dark as days, ben folds - all you can eat, hir0's song (my new favorite running song), bf5 - narcolepsy, guster - happier
• comments: wasn't hard to get out there even though i knew it was hot. still won't swap out my winter clothes because we'll freeze again soon. tried out my new saucony tank and i like it. i also like having a long ponytail. practice makes it better was my mantra today. still can't imagine running for 2 hours straight. maybe if i think of it as only 2 hours?

• run: 7 miles!
• time: little over an hour
• temp: 47 (but was warmer)
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: my butt, hips near end
• what i listened to when i ran: regina spektor - better and on the radio, ben folds - learn to live with what you are, night ranger - can't find me a thrill, elliott smith - say yes, crowded house - mean to me, ty segall - johnny
• comments: forgot it was st. patricks day until i saw the beer pong tables surrounded by guys (and a few gals) in green shirts with red plastic cups. it was 10 am by the time i got out there. i had confidence that i'd make it a longer run. it felt longer than it was. going up that hill, not seeing any road to turn on, was a little daunting but i knew it would be fun to map when i got home. i screwed up my nike app and wasn't able to track it with my nano, so i gave up and enjoyed the nice day. i feel pretty good about conquering an additional mile.

• run: 4.88 (thought it was less, but nike app says)
• time: 45 min
• temp: 62
• road conditions: beautiful
• aches/pains: l hamstring. not sure if it's really my hamstring. need to ask. neck extremely tight.
• what i listened to when i ran: regina spektor - on the radio, ben folds - learn to live with who you are, nin - head like a hole, nin- happiness in slavery
• comments: can't run on thursday, so i conned myself into the longer route i do after work. now that it's daylight savings time and i'm trying to convince myself to increase my miles, i don't have excuses. the first mile is hard because it's a slight incline. i told myself to not wimp out, i can do it, so just do it and get it done. no regrets. i also told myself that each time i catch myself complaining about my job, i have to donate a dollar to the rabbit rescue. i didn't complain directly about it today out loud, which is progress. i didn't even complain about my planned run this evening. not even once out loud. just do, don't bitch. this is my new mantra :)

• run: 3.1
• time: 26.09
• temp: 35
• road conditions: dry and sunny
• aches/pains: l hamstring
• what i listened to when i ran: jeff beckley - hallelujah, mona - listen to your love
• comments: the kids ran the 1k hand in hand. it was the sweetest thing ever. i missed them crossing the finish line as i was trying to hit the middle of their course to make sure the girl wasn't throwing a fit. the boy took care of her and my husband met them at the finish line. he was thrilled, she seemed a little baffled by the whole event. we found the people handing out ice cream and all was well, but they went home before my race started. it was still a little chilly for them to stand on the course (the temp crept up 30 degrees by 1pm). i wasn't really sure where the start, course, or finish line were. i knew i was overdressed (addidas tights, tank, blue hoodie) but it worked because i was out before the race for quite a while. i was pretty cold when the race started and sweat out buckets by the halfway point. it was exciting to be out racing again! i thought we were close to being done, and then there was a turn, and then a hill, and then...ugh. but what a rush to push through it and keep going. i saw my time on the clock and knew i did well. it wasn't a pr, but it was really good for the course and time out of for injury. it was better than my time for the same race last year. i'm pretty happy with myself. i almost want to sign up for another st. pattys day race next weekend (10k) but maybe i should increase my long run to 7 miles instead. knowing myself, i'll spend the money to race a shorter distance rather than increasing my long run.

• run: 6.2
• time: 58 min
• temp: 25
• road conditions: dry and sunny
• aches/pains: l hamstring
• what i listened to when i ran: beach boys - hang on to your ego
• comments: wasn't into it when i started, but hung in to do 6 miles. i need to increase that and i feel like i can do that. going out during the week made this run much easier. it really is all about practice. i'm sooooooo excited about the race tomorrow! it's been way too long.

• run: 4 mi
• time: 40 min
• temp: 35
• road conditions: windy
• aches/pains: back
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with my running buddy
• comments: i was really glad to see the rain had stopped, the sun was out, and the temperature dropped when we headed out. we did a new, very hilly, route. beautiful neighborhood. it was a lot of fun. i'm so glad i'm a runner. i noticed that i had over 300 entries - that means i've ran more than 300 times in the past couple of years. i'm impressed with myself.

• run: 2.5-3 mi
• time:?
• temp: 59
• road conditions: busy
• aches/pains: l back of leg
• what i listened to when i ran: blondie - atomic, the rembrandts - some song, ben folds - annie waits, komeda - boogie woogie, guster - ruby falls
• comments: long, tough day at work. it was 60 degrees, the sun wasn't down, so i changed as quickly as i could and did a short run before the sun came down. felt very freeing. i didn't use the nike+ to time myself. i did it because i thought it would make me feel better and i could use the miles to condition myself to run further and faster. everyone and their best friend were out there tonight. good for them. good for me. i can run well.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 48 min
• temp: 26
• road conditions: lightly snow dusted, sunny
• aches/pains: back of l thigh
• what i listened to when i ran: ben folds - carrying cathy, practical amanda, claire's ninth, kalamazoo, radiohead - karma police
• comments: that first mile was hard. i cannot see myself running for 2 hours. i can see myself getting really good at the 10k again. i can see myself running a 5k next weekend. last year i placed 6th in my age group. i don't know if i can do that again, but i can have fun and get a t-shirt. my soul aches to race.

• run: 6.16
• time: just under an hour
• temp: 34
• road conditions: light snow/freezing rain
• aches/pains: r elbow
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - malice, duran duran - the chauffeur, ? - it's in every one of us, death cab - transatlanticism, elliott smith - bled white
• comments: despite the weather, i decided to try for 6 miles. the route was very familiar but seemed hillier than i remember. i'm trying to imagine myself running for 2 hours straight. one hour seems like more than enough. i think that if i'm able to meet the challenges i set for myself in my runs, i'll be able to meet the challenges facing me at work. it's a nice theory and provides my soul with comfort.

thursday, march 1

• run: 5.3 mi
• time: forgot
• temp: 40
• road conditions: dark and dry
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: chatted with running buddy
• comments: went out and diverted from the route. i promised i'd find our way back and i did. i missed my friend. i was also angry as hell and it felt good to run and talk it out. i came home feeling brighter than i have in a while. i also am thinking seriously about committing to a half this summer and a 10k in a couple of weeks. let's see how the weekend runs go. i wish i had the confidence and will to just register for them and be done, but i need to continue to question my own strength and determination. it's like that line from that cake song - "bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse". it's starting to feel like my own personal motto. i need to find me a new one.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 50 min
• temp: 20
• road conditions: sunny and dry
• aches/pains: l ass, not so much
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - kate, night ranger - call my name, radiohead - paranoid android, the new pornographers - use it
• comments: still an effort. have to walk little bits and stop at crosswalks, but 5 miles is do-able. i'm glad. i didn't come home and cry. i came home and went to church, where a long-time member often comments on how fresh faced and glowing i look on sunday mornings. bless his heart, because i showered but forgot my mascara. i always use my lush products, soap, shampoo and conditioner, after my runs because it's a little treat. i don't use them when i don't to make the run a little more special. i hope i get out during the week because it will help my speed, reduce my stress, and make the weekend runs easier. if i can run while so completely depressed, i can do lots of other impossible things.

• run: 5 mi
• time: pace 9.53 - a small improvement but i'll take it
• temp: 28
• road conditions: some ice, snow, very windy
• aches/pains: l ass, l calf
• what i listened to when i ran: crowded house - mean to me, elliott smith - oh well, okay, bf5 - tom and mary, buster - homecoming queen, nin - a warm place
• comments: woke up this morning and didn't have the mental or emotional energy to get out of bed. but i did. had some coffee, cried while my husband made me dance to silly songs, and got out there and ran 5 miles. it wasn't 2 minutes before i burst into tears when i got home. this is going to be a rough day. i promised myself i'm going to work on work stuff for one hour and try to let it go. it's so hard. i'm so grateful that somehow i've been having very weird dreams, not related to work.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 50
• temp: 21
• road conditions: sunny, crisp and dry
• aches/pains: l ass, r knee
• what i listened to when i ran: night ranger - penny, beatles - a day in the life, bjork - happy
• comments: perfect weather. i started getting a little faint at the top of the hill on 7th, so i took it easy on the way home. i need to do this during the week to make the weekends better. i want to get good at this because my new job is going to be impossible.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 48 min
• temp: 37
• road conditions: dry
• aches/pains: jaw, left side of my ass
• what i listened to when i ran: elliott smith - between the bars
• comments: everybody was out there today. nobody i recognized, though. i don't think that iPod thing is accurate, so i might stop using it. felt good to be out there. very windy.

sunday, feb. 11

• run: 5.3 mi
• time: 52 min
• temp: 20
• road conditions: sunny
• aches/pains: l butt
• what i listened to when i ran: new pornographers - twin cinema
• comments: aside from the butt ache and stopping here and there to walk, it was a success. much better than yesterday. i felt much happier, got into the downhill on davis, and had a nice time. then the dark clouds of doom and uncertianty moved back in, but at least i was able to brush them away for a little while.

• run: 5.4 mi
• time:57 min
• temp: 10
• road conditions: frigid, snowdrifts
• aches/pains: r groin
• what i listened to when i ran: bf5 - eddie walker, queen - someone to love, army navy - dark as days, night ranger - rock in america, elliott smith - biggest lie
• comments: that was really, really hard. i almost stopped to puke several times. it felt much colder out there than i thought. i felt my face freeze, which was a new one. i had to stop and walk a few times because i couldn't catch my breath and/or thought i was going to puke. since i had to bail on the 5k because my husband needed to run errands this morning, i committed to 5 miles. my body told me told me to quit early, but the part of me that's struggled with overwhelming doom and depression this week told me to finish the 5 miles. i can't say i feel that great physically as i'm still trying to warm up, but i know i did the right thing.

• run: 3 mi
• time: 28 min
• temp: 34
• road conditions: cloudy, roads clean and dry
• aches/pains: r elbow
• what i listened to when i ran: weezer - unbreak my heart, rem - something off murmur, international orange - tell me what i did
• comments: got a new iPod nano from my hubby :) it has a workout program on it. i didn't have much time this morning as the boy has a chess tournament to go to and they had to leave pretty early, so i ran pretty fast (felt like i did) and did a short route. felt good, was a little out of breath, excited to come home and see how fast i was. 9.25 pace. ugh. i also burned 298 calories. i'm running a race next weekend where last time my pace was 8.53/mile. the last 5k was 8.0/mile. i have a lot of work to do. i also need to get my height/weight out of that program because i don't need to know how many calories i burn. it's all about time and distance for me and i want to keep it that way. i wore my light tights, tank, and green jacket and it was perfect for the weather. just knowing how to dress for the temperature makes things so much easier.

thursday, february 2

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 36
• road conditions: dark
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: catching up with my running buddy. it's been 2.5 months.
• comments: i felt a little better when she told me she'd been getting out 3-4 times a week for under 5 miles. so we took a 4 mile loop from the store and started it, not realizing that it was 4 miles out was only half a route. i knew where we were and got us back to the store. we both missed each other and chatted for a while after the run as there was so much in each others lives that we missed. i can't wait to run with her next week.

• run: 5 mil
• time: 50 min
• temp: 24
• road conditions: pretty clear
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: radiohead - paranoid android, pearl jam - just breathe, jackson browne - lawyers in love, star track song, buster - airport song, fanfare - ghosts
• comments: lost my little green shuffle. i charged it yesterday and couldn't find it before i went out. my spirits were low when i headed out, but i kept going, trying to keep my promise of 5 miles. i did. was late to church, but i'm trying not to get into the habit of dropping a mile when i don't "feel" like going so far. i know i can, so that excuse is out. saw the girl who taught my running class run by my house as i was getting home. she saw me walk for a bit after climbing the last hill and i felt kind of wimpy.

• run: 5 mi
• time: 50-55min
• temp: 27
• road conditions: snowy
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: fiona apple - parting gift
• comments: got up and out early today. there was about a half inch of snow on the ground, just enough to make it pretty during daybreak but not enough to worry about slipping. it continued to snow during the run. it still feels fantastic to be back out there.

• run: 5 mil
• time: 50 min
• temp: 19
• road conditions: clear mostly, snow and ice patches
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: night ranger - you can still rock in america, bf5 - last polka, ac newman - miracle drug
• comments: shocked and thrilled to look at the clock when i got home. then i heard my hubby turn on the shower. i was left with little hot water and less time to try to get to church on time. i was going to shorten the run because i'm lazy and i was time pressured, but decided to do the 5 miles. so glad i did. at least i can feel i've accomplished something i wanted to accomplish today :)

• run: 5 mi
• time: 55 min
• temp: 10
• road conditions: snow covered ground, sunny skies
• aches/pains: r hamstring near the end
• what i listened to when i ran: queen - killer queen, guster - barrel of a gun, robert plant - tall cool one
• comments: i made it 5 miles! tough terrain, but it was kind of fun. there's something about running in the winter that makes me feel like a superhero. maybe it's the tights and the form-fitting hoodie, along with the challenge of going uphill when there's a sliding down element. or maybe it's knowing i'm doing something that most people think is insane. i'm just relieved it's still fun right now. the last thing i need is another struggle in my life.

• run: 4.5
• time: 50-55 minutes
• temp: 21
• road conditions: icy patches, sun coming up
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: ac newman - straight time, bf5 - don't change your plans, stone roses - i wanna be adored
• comments: it's all coming back to me now. how to run to avoid the icier spots on the sidewalk, how to go downhill and make sure you don't slip on an icy patch. it takes a lot of concentration and effort. once i found a nice stretch of cleared pavement i sped up and it felt pretty good. i love this weather! i watched the olympic marathon trials for about 15 minutes yesterday. pretty dull.

• run: 4.5
• time: 50 min
• temp: 19
• road conditions: a little less than an inch of snow on the ground, light snow falling
• aches/pains: my ass for the first couple of miles, l knee for last half mile
• what i listened to when i ran: didn't turn on the iPod
• comments: what a ride! for the first time in a long time, or ever, i got lost in the run. the first mile i was enjoying the beauty, but worried about slipping (no yax trax), my toes freezing, getting my breath to get up the hills. the effort required concentration and took my mind off of the burdens of work, which have been soul crushing (to put it mildly). i started to think about how things could be different, and was able to think of a few ideas. i'm so grateful to have some hope. this is much better than curling up in the fetal position and crying. i need to get a new blue nike hoodie because it is awesome in this weather. i put the hoodie up for the first part of the run, when i was cold, but took it down after i warmed up.

• run: 4 mi
• time: ?
• temp: 39
• road conditions: blinding sun
• aches/pains: none
• what i listened to when i ran: lcd sound system: someone great, new pornographers - adventures in solitude, bf5 - philosophy
• comments: i'm coming back! there were so many people out there today. it's just so darn warm and beautiful. i left the tank home and it was a good decision. the nice thing about running in this kind of weather is that you stay cool and don't get so dehydrated without freezing your ass off. as i was rounding the corner to go up the hill to get home, two beautiful boys ran past me. i remembered again why i love running. sigh. i'm pretty sure i can get myself back to my baseline again. it may not be very soon, but it can happen if i'm willing to work for it.

• run: 3.75
• time: ?
• temp: 38
• road conditions: tiny rain sprinkles for a few minutes
• aches/pains: r knee at first, now fine
• what i listened to when i ran: white rabbits - percussion gun, lcd sound system - something great, elliott smith - miss misery
• comments: getting better. enjoying the new route. didn't up my game as i don't want to get injured and i'm lazy. so lazy i wore the same outfit for the 3rd day in a row. it didn't smell that bad, but i will do laundry today. didn't wear the gloves today which was a good call. i miss my running buddy.